


Any Questions?

by Batfink



Series: The Continuing Adventures of Furry Menace & Snake Boy [9]
Category: Fright Night (2011), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Underworld (Movies)
Genre: Angels, Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Confusion, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Multiple Crossovers, Questioning, Short, Werewolves, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), a little payback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 17:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20439617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfink/pseuds/Batfink
Summary: “Holy shit!”  Peter laughed as the two of them glared at each other, both with matching expressions of outrage at the others behaviour.  Beside him Crowley chuckled.





	Any Questions?

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to 'Bullet_with_butterfly_wings' for the suggestion of lycan interactions with heaven

Lucian stood in the middle of the bookshop with a notebook and a pen, a confused look on his face. “So, any questions?” Aziraphale asked cheerfully.

Lucian flipped back through his notes. “Uh, yeah. One.” He looked from the notebook to Aziraphale. “Where's the till?”

“The till?” Aziraphale asked, now wearing the same confused face.

“Yeah, you know. The cash register? The place you put money after people give you it for books.” Lucian gestured vaguely.

“Oh, that. Never had one. I just tend to put it in the drawer.” He pointed to his desk on the far side of the bookshop. “Over there.”

Lucian made a note. “So that's where you keep the change then?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Change?” Aziraphale asked.

At this point Crowley decided to take pity on the lycan. He slithered up behind him and slid his arms around his waist. “Let me worry about the change, okay?” He kissed Lucian just behind the ear.

“What about card payments then?” Lucian continued. Crowley burst out laughing and walked away shaking his head.

“Oh, we don't do that.” Aziraphale frowned. “Cash only.”

“What?” Lucian gasped. “But you can buy the little devices really cheap now.” He gestured at the door. “The street vendors all have them for goodness sake! They cost like twenty quid, hook up to your mobile.”

“I don't have a mobile.” Aziraphale huffed.

“Holy shit!” Peter laughed as the two of them glared at each other, both with matching expressions of outrage at the others behaviour. Beside him Crowley chuckled.

“I don't think this is going to work.” Aziraphale shook his head.

“Oh no.” Peter declared. “No, no, no. Crowley. Take him to lunch. I got this.” Crowley grabbed Aziraphale by the arm and started pushing the protesting Angel towards the door. “Keep him out of here as long as you can.” Peter added as Crowley got the Angel over the threshold.

Crowley turned back with a grin. “Three desserts. Got it.” He winked at Peter then hurried outside, pulling the door shut behind them.

“Okay, look.” Peter turned to Lucian. “It's not that hard. You have all the notes. You'll be fine. Just accept that it's cash only and let Crowley deal with the change.” He nodded and patted Lucian on the shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. Pulling a book from his coat pocket, he headed for the back room. “Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm off to read 'Reaper Man' for about the fiftieth time.” He waved the signed first edition of his favourite book over his shoulder as he went.

“That's your idea of I got this?” Lucian muttered under his breath but he turned to the box of new deliveries sitting on Aziraphale's desk. This was easy at least. All he had to do was find the order sheet and make sure the correct books had been delivered.

\--- 

Lucian had all the books checked off and was looking through his notes to see where he should put them when the bell above the door jingled. He glanced out from behind the bookshelf he was standing by and saw three figures dressed in grey suits. The hair on the back of his neck prickled and he sniffed the air. Angels. Must be some of Aziraphale's 'work' colleagues. He stepped out from behind the bookshelf intent on telling them Aziraphale was out for lunch.

“What in God's name happened to you?” The tall one at the front gasped at Lucian. “Did you fall?” He asked not bothering to wait for Lucian to reply before looking to the angel to his left. “Did he fall?” He looked to the angel on his right. “Did I miss a memo?”

“Did I what? Lucian asked confused.

The first one's head snapped back to look at him, eyes narrowing. “You're not Aziraphale!” He exclaimed.

Lucian, feeling uneasy, gave a high pitched whistle. A moment later, Peter appeared from the back room. “Yeah, what?” He wasn't wearing a shirt. Lucian rolled his eyes.

“You know this lot?” Lucian asked flicking his head at the three angels.

Peter looked around and Lucian was surprised to hear him growl. “Yeah.” He nodded. “I know these arseholes.”

“Oh look.” The tallest angel sneered. “The boyfriend's back.”

Peter pointed at him. “Gabriel.” He pointed to the one on the left. “Sandalphon.” Then the one on the right. “Uriel.” He practically spat the last one. “That one.” He pointed back to Gabriel. “Is the reason Aziraphale has issues with his body.” He pointed to Uriel. “That one.” He snarled. “Sucker punched him for trying to prevent Armageddon.”

“Is that so?” Lucian looked thoughtful. “Did I ever tell you...” He started unfastening the buttons on his shirt. “Angel powers don't work on lycans.”

“What's a lycan?” Gabriel interrupted looking at the others who both shrugged.

Peter grinned. “Is that so?”

Lucian nodded sliding off his shirt and suddenly, they were both shifting. Growing taller, fangs, claws, snapping, snarling at the angels who were looking at them horrified. Peter advanced on them and Gabriel threw out his hands to grab the others by their nearest wrist. “Do someTHING!” He demanded as Lucian started closing on them from the other side.

“Nothing's working!” Sandalphon yelped, backing up quicker as Lucian snapped his teeth inches from his face. Uriel was the first to the door and bolted from the shop, the other two seconds behind.

\--- 

When Crowley and Aziraphale returned the shop was closed and the lycans were not in it. Crowley led the way up the stairs and they found them in the flat with a bottle of wine half drunk between them. “Something wrong?" Crowley asked seeing the slightly guilty looks on their faces.

“You didn't sell something did you?” Aziraphale asked in a worried tone.

“No. No books sold.” Peter replied hesitantly.

Crowley narrowed his eyes at them. “What did you do?”

“Well.” Lucian began. “There were these angels.”

“Oh dear.” Aziraphale put his hand to his chest. Crowley smirked.

“Peter told me...” Lucian glanced at Aziraphale. “That they hadn't been particularly, nice.” He looked away again. “To you.”

“So, we kinda...” Peter continued. “Wolfed out on them.” He finished in a rush.

“Oh.” Aziraphale replied, making a face.

Peter narrowed his eyes. “What is that?” He pointed to Aziraphale tilting his head. “What's that face?”

Lucian looked up at him. “He's... trying not to laugh.”

Aziraphale still had one hand to his chest, the other covering his mouth now and his shoulders were trembling ever so slightly. Crowley, reached out and poked him in the side and Aziraphale burst out laughing. Laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. Laughed until he could barely breathe, waving his hands and pointing at Lucian or Peter before cracking up again.

When he finally managed to get himself under control, Lucian and Peter were staring at him puzzled. “You're not...” Peter began.

“Upset?” Lucian finished.

“Upset?” Aziraphale giggled. “My dear boys, I only wish I could have seen their faces.” He chuckled.

Crowley pouted beside him. “Wish I could have seen it too. You scared them good?”

Lucian smiled. “Pretty sure they were trying every miracle in the book on us.” He chuckled.

“They looked like they'd never seen a lycan before.” Peter added.

“Well, no. They probably haven't. They don't spend much time down here after all.” Aziraphale shrugged.

“It was pretty comical.” Peter smiled. “Uriel pushed Gabriel at me to get out the door first.”

“Pretty sure Gabriel tripped the other one, what's his name?” Lucian asked Peter.

“Sandalphon.” Peter replied.

“Yeah. Pretty sure he tripped him to get out the door in front of him.” Lucian laughed.

“You know what this means, don't you?” Crowley grinned at Aziraphale.

Aziraphale nodded and turned to Lucian. “You got the job, my boy.” He laughed.

Lucian smiled. “Awesome.”

\--- 

“Hey, quick question.” Lucian turned to Crowley and Aziraphale later that evening as the four continued with the wine. “Since angel and demon powers don't work on lycans. Why am I not dead?”

Crowley frowned and looked at Aziraphale who was also frowning. “Well.” Aziraphale thought for a moment. “Either healing powers are separate and DO work on lycans, or...”

“Or, God herself didn't want you dead.” Crowley finished with a shrug.


End file.
